My Mental Health

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My Mental Health
My Mental Health

My mental health is shattered in a million little pieces, I don’t even think I would be able to find every little piece in a attempt to put it back together.

I will never be the same person I once was
That person will never be me, I need to quit trying to claim I’m the same person

I’m the person who sits in his room as the glow of the tv makes it look like I’m somewhat present
But in fact I have fallen inward
I am lost, I can’t even see the glow through my eyes

I’ve tried mental health things, they don’t work. You can’t do them all the time
Sooner than later you have to realize to yourself that you are alone, that you have nobody in your life.
Sooner than later you have to understand that you are indeed lost &/or broken
So how do you fix yourself ? When it comes down to the truth of the matter I don’t think it’s possible
We all want to act and be like the one we use to be, no matter what we’ve gone through we want to act like we haven’t changed.
We want to act like nothing can change us.
But if the facts are laid down on the table, everything that happens to us in life will change us
Sometimes for the good, sometimes for the worst.
Sometimes just sometimes you fall hitting every fucking rock on the way down.
At the bottom of the hill you look back up and you still claim your the same person, but you have no idea how much life has changed your way of thinking, reacting or doing things.

We all try to find something to drown ourselves in, in hopes of that’s what we need.
At times we just end up drowning ourselves in more negativity

We may not see it because we are so trapped in it

I’m guilty of it too, I’m guilty of trying to put together the pieces back to be someone who I use to be
But that structure was even more fragile than I could imagine, it didn’t last, it broke, I could watch it in slow motion

The hardest thing to do is to let go the past, especially if we’ve spent most of our life being that person

Before whatever shattered our mental health

In China they fill cracks with gold, it’s called Kintsugi. But you can’t do that your mental health
Mental health isn’t that easy to fix, in many ways it will never be fixed because you never will be the one who you once were.
All those books that tell you how to improve your mental health are full of fakes and frauds
What solution helps you may not help someone else
If they keep repeating the lie telling people it will work sooner than later people will believe them.

Satan’s greatest magic trick was convincing the world that he doesn’t exist
Satan’s greatest magic trick was convincing the world that he doesn’t exist

But here we are now, starring into the mirror and wondering who or what is looking back at us